Sincerely Pandrea

"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” -Anais Nin


Fears and Failure

I’ve been thinking a lot about the relation between these two things recently.

Fear can be motivating. It can also be detrimental to success. It can be inhibiting. Fear can be powerful enough to paralyze you. Not just in the physical response that comes from the exposure and experience of extreme fear, but it can also paralyze a person’s psyche. It is one of the tools our brains possess that can save your life, fight or flight, but also limit your ability to fully live. It can stop your drive to be active in life. Fear can set you up for failure. But it can also rob you of opportunities to succeed. 

Failure can evoke fear. Failure is inevitable in life. Despite our constant attempts at perfection, we as a species will never live a flawless life. Failure is necessary. It’s going to suck. You will feel unworthy, inadequate, unintelligent, untalented, irresponsible. Maybe not all at once, maybe all of that and then some. You will want to give up. You will want to succumb to it. To be a passive receiver of what you think the world is trying to communicate to you. 


Don’t let fear and failure stop you from pursuing your dreams, from living your life. Without failure you might never know that you are capable of putting the pieces back together after being completely broken down. While you’re reassembling the wreckage you will discover pieces of yourself you never realized were part of the puzzle. At the end you’ll realize how much stronger you are than your fears and your failures. 

Don’t use the universe as an excuse for you to stop pursuing what you want in life. You are in charge of your own life. You are in charge of how to react to what life throws your way. Say fuck you to the pessimistic part of yourself that is trying to take the easy way out, that’s trying to say it’s ok if you don’t get the things you want and the things you thought you deserved. Because you do deserve them. 

It’s not going to be easy. You might have more failures in life that you do successes but there will be successes. If you work hard, if you leave fear behind or channel it and use it as a motivator, if you refuse to let it dictate your experience on this Earth, if you accept your failures and refuse to stop getting back up after falling down, you will realize that your life will be so much richer. You’ll be a better person at the end of it all. A person you can truly be proud of.  

At the end of my time here I sure as hell would rather say at least I tried instead of I wish I had. 

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